i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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