hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
