Don't you send me to vm
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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