if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
