I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
