Yo dont text me then not text me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
