can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
