Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
