idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
