At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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