Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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