he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
