dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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