I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
