Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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