Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
