HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
