You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
