Dual....:-)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
