I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
