So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
