I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
