well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
