Don't you send me to vm
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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