Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
