woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
