I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
should my penis look like a turkey
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
