Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
