Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Who died my cat blue again?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
