...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
