Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
