I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize