Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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