Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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