This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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