she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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