I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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