you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
