Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
