Nicole vs. Life
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
