i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
