How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
