just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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