i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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