Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
