Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
