Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
