so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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