At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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