i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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