Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
